I am a manly-man.
(stop singing the themesong to Two And a Half Men)
It’s true, I am.
I can grow a beard faster than you can shave yours.
I can survive in the bush if I have to.
I open doors for ladies, and I don’t kick cats (when said ladies are looking).
I am, in case you don’t know the term, a propper retrosexual.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t take care of myself. Teeth and skin and shit like that need attention. But the moment your bathroom closet takes up more than half of the space your girlfriend’s does, I believe you should trade in aforementioned girlfriend for a boyfriend.
I am a manly, retrosexual, moustached man.
And I went for a facial.
I have been in similar situations before (come on, part of treating a lady can involve spa’s and stuff, right?). I have, however, never had a facial. As a guy, coming from an Afrikaans family (some of who wear khaki and say wiff in stead of with) I grew up not even knowing that men were allowed in beauty salons, much less be treated in one. When I received an invitation on twitter from @haylsgries to come in for a facial, I was actually looking forward to experiencing it.
I was pleasantly surprised to hear that male-related treatment in the beauty industry is the fastest growing facet of this girl-oriented aspect of life. It was pointed out to me, however, that it’s probably due to it booming from virtually zero men to actual numbers.
As I sat down I was instructed to remove my shirt. To my dismay, this is apparently not something that all women do topless, as they get some sort of boob tube top. Whatever that might be. (My plan to become a beautician was therefore short-lived. About 12 seconds).
In a nutshell, here’s what was done to me:
- Face scrubbed clean
- Some lotions and shit were put on my face
- Teabags and some other stuff were placed on my eyes.
- Occasional wiping down of mentioned shit.
- Twice, there was this weird steam-ozone thing blowing in my face. It was warm, relaxing and unclogged my nose. (Bonus!)
- More shit was paste on and scraped off.
- Pimples were popped. @haylsgries says I have impressively few pimples. I didn’t even know I had any.
- Face massage. I loved this. From the collar bone to the top of my head. Oh. My. Word.
- More lotion stuff onto my face.
As you can see, I clearly didn’t listen to the exact explanation @haylsgries was giving me as to what she was doing. Honestly, I couldn’t care less. Firstly, because I figured that actually knowing what’s being put on me would cost me an extra man card. Secondly, I was waaay to relaxed to event think about stuff like oils and lotions and why this does that to my skin.
Yes, I am still a manly retrosexual man… now I just have an awesome face.
I will do it again.
Thanx @haylsgries for the treatment!
Feel free to visit her at ther salon in Villeria, Pretoria. For more info, check out these links:
- @haylsgries on Twitter
- Call me beautiful nail and beauty salon on Facebook
- CityGirlBeautician (her blog)
Well, I’m always up for a new challenge…
If you/anyone you know want to do stuff to me and let me blog about it, let me know.
And by “stuff” I mean massages, waxes, manicures, drinking adventures and such. No BDSM. Haha!