For some reason, gingers have become the, well, gingers of the world.
The senseless discrimination has gotten to such a point that I can’t even think of a more appropriate metaphor than just that.
And I think it is unfair.
I like gingers, and so should you.
- Ginger friends will help you get laid
It’s all about the odds.
If you go out with 5 mates, you all stand a 1 in 6 chance of possibly getting some action. Insert a ginger into the equation, and the odds will tip in your favour. if you have 3 gingers… Well, you’ll have a 1 in 3 chance.
[WARNING: Do not let the ginger-to-non-ginger ratio spiral out of control. I suggest no more than 1:1, as no girls would like to hang with your group if you are the only non-ginger]
- Gingers can make magic happen
Most good spells, curses, curse-liftings and beast-calmings require a virgin to be sacrificed. Now where are you going to find a virgin if you don’t know any gingers?
- Ginger friends will save you money
Spray tan is expensive. Walking next to your ginger friend is free. You’ll look super tanned and best of all, natural.
- Enhanced Comedy Gig Experiences
Going to a comedy night is fun. What is more fun, is if you are the focus of the comedian’s attention. What is even more fun, is if you’re sitting NEXT to the person who is bearing the brunt of the comic’s jokes. All the lulz, all the spotlight, none of the burn.
- Mealtime becomes me-time
Tired of your friends stealing your chips, or asking for your last McNugget? Well, if you have ginger friends, all you need to do is start eating at Chicken Licken, and that problem will go away. Gingers are incapable of eating Chicken Licken.
Chicken Licken is “Soul Food”.
- Be Constantly Positive
No matter how bad your day is, or how sad your life might turn out… You can always find solace in the fact that you are not ginger.
- Tragedies are Less Tragic
9/11. Columbine. Tsunami. Earthquakes… People died, and that is tragic. On the plus side, statistically speaking at least SOME of those people had to have been ginger. So every cloud has a silver lining…
8. (And this is the only SERIOUS one) GINGER WOMEN ARE HOT!
Disclaimer: All the above (except nr 8), is obviously a joke.
I really don’t get why gingers are so “hated”, and I think it’s silly. Funny, but silly.
Bottom line: Don’t bully gingers. Laugh with them, not at them. If they can’t laugh with you, then perhaps it is better that you just laugh at them.
When you share this on FB or Twitter, be sure to tag your ginger friends…