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Top Oppikoppi Tips nobody bothers to give you, even though they should

2 Aug

OK WhisperingTake wet wipes. Hydrate. Sunscreen. Pace yourself. Pack warm…
An Oppikoppi Tips List nowadays kinda writes itself. Sadly, it’s becoming a tad redundant. Anyone with Google can find the last few years’ posts, and let’s face it, the list kinda stays the same.

There are however, some pointers nobody seems to talk about. Until now

So here we go, my contribution to the growing number of festival tip lists:

OK phone1. Clean your phone before you leave home.
You’re gonna want take drunk selfies and blurry pics of the bands, in spite of the fact that all those other lists tell you to lock your phone in the car and forget about it. So make sure you have enough space for all the shaky videos and incriminating visual evidence of your friends’ debauchery.
OK marker


2. Make your mark

Take a permanent marker. Mark your stuff. Like a tent, bag, chair, and whatever might be lost that you would prefer to be found again. This even works for friends, but not livers or dignity.

 

 
OK bald3. Shave your head, wish you were dead.
For some reason, the Art of Bald is seen as a powerful force (which it might very well be). Group identity, individual freedom of expression or silent solidarity with a chemo-friend… all good ideas. Except when heading to a place where you will spend 40% of your awake time, in scorching sunlight.
You will also lose your hat, even though your permanent marker is on it.
So unless you habitually wax your leathery cranium, don’t impulsively do it pre-Koppi.

OK common sense4. Make Common Sense Great Again
Do you really, really need to be told to pack a tent, toothbrush and water? If you do, please don’t go to Koppi. You will die even before you get there, possibly by sticking your fingers into the Northam KFC’s wall socket simply coz there was no sign telling you not to.
So when you get to Koppi, please use whatever’s left of your enjoyably euthanised cerebellum, and think before you do things. That way, you won’t end up with an ex, tottie-vrot, or an axe in your leg. And yes, all those are things that have happened to stupid people.

OK camping5. Read the lists, ignore the shit
You thought I was dissing all the lists and such? Not at all. They are good guides and will help you enjoy your Oppikoppi experience. It’s just that, well… let’s be honest, nobody packs ALL that crap to go to Koppi. I know maybe 3 people who will get close to doing so, and they are the ones who will feed you rusks in the morning coz you didn’t pack it.
So decide what type of Koppi you want to have.
Camping in the bush, and ‘oh there are bands too’? Go all out camping, you know, like you probably do at least once a month anyway.
Barely spending time at your tent coz you’re EVERYWHERE else having a jol? Fuck it. You can drastically scale your convoy’s cargo carrying requirements down if you take a thicker wallet.

There you go, yet another list.
What do you think should be on this list? And be warned, I will mock you relentlessly if you say something that is on a million other lists.


For a decent list of things to take, here’s 33 things you need for Oppikoppi: A stage manager’s perspective as seen on Running Wolf’s Rant.

If you’re bored, here are my previous Oppikoppi Posts

If you see me in the dust, let’s have a tequila! #RockWithCuervo

Share to care, coz it rhymes.

Oppi

I lost a friend at Oppikoppi

11 Aug

Before I write any post-Koppi band reviews, share any camp stories or post any pics, I need to get this emotional burden off my chest.

I have lost a friend. A companion that has not only been with me for so many years, but one that really saved my ass on several occasions.

Oppikoppi 2011You have been with me to my very first Oppikoppi Festival​ in 2011, and each one since.
Now this might not seem like a big deal, but to those who know how tough Koppi can be, will understand how impressive this is. But it wasn’t just in the dust where you supported me.

One RAMfest​ (sorry about the others you missed, but you only seemed to enjoy camping) proved that you weren’t scared off by little knee deep mud and torrential rain. You came with me to Mieliepop Festival​, twice. Apparently the cold never bothered you anyway. The same number of times you accompanied me to STRAB​ in Mozambique (sorry for this year, I couldn’t arrange transport for you). When I needed you, you joined me at Park Acoustics. Two Otterlake Easter Festival​ experiences proved that you have a charitable side too.
Mieliepop 2014 - Photo by Henno KrugerSpeaking of charity, you never seemed to mind when people used you. Even if I didn’t know them from a bar of soap. You always made it your mission to make sure visitors to our camp sites had a comfortable stay.

Ramfest 2014 - Photo by Henno KrugerYou shared in so many camp fire stories, random drunken moments and way too many rounds of our beloved game, Kings. Whether it was at a music festival or a braai at my place, you never folded under the pressure of dealing with my social dealings.
You’ve been in my life for longer than all my serious relationships put together, and supported me even more than the same.

Thanks for the memories, I will miss you, my dear green Campmaster chair.

Otterlake 2014 - Photo by Henno Kruger

Oppikoppi 2014 – The Baas Awards

11 Aug

Oppikoppi CrowdOppikoppi is over, and before the last of the dust is coughed from your dusty lungs, allow me to present to you my version of a post-Oppikoppi post…

I present to you *insert drum roll here*
The Oppikoppi 2014 Baas Awards

I will attempt to dish out some awards based on what I experienced at the 20th anniversary of South Africa’s most renown (notorious?) music festival. I am, in spite of evidence to the contrary, a mere human. Therefore I did miss some elements, and some awesome ones at that.
Enough of the blah blah, here… have some awards:

Oppikoppi Wesley'ss Dome - A fan's PerspectiveStage
Wesley’s Dome

Visually attractive, best sound, best managed stage and well-kept terrain in front of the stage. Although my favourite stage at the festival will always be the small stage at the top bar, the dome takes the award for best stage not only because it was the main main stage, but simply because everything was awesome *insert Lego movie reference here*

 

Oppikoppi BraaiBoyFood
BraaiBoy
Call me biassed, but my mates BraaiBoy and Borries deserve this award for a few reasons. It was the first time they had the stall at the festival, and they were constantly busy. I heard from several random people that the free pork crackling with Jimmy’s Sauce they had there, saved lives. The pulled pork burgers, babbelas breakfast and BraaiBoy boeries proved to be a firm crowd favourite.

 

Oppikoppi Texty Benches Texty BenchesNew Feature
Texty Benches
Every year, the ridiculously creative folks at Hilltop introduce some funky new little feature. This year a trojan horse infiltrated District 9, gods and goddesses were dressed up and much, much more. But my award goes to those benches that looked like bus-stops, with awesome quotes written on them. Not only did they provide much needed seating for weary travellers, but also great conversation pieces.

 

Tom not at OppikoppiCraziest Person
Tom da Silva

The Australian dude with dreadlocks and snake-experience was everywhere. And batshit crazy. From his experiences with dubious elements, to doing the Naked Run and everything else, this is one crazy mofo. I mean, when 3 random people (including some people who worked in the production office) tell you that this was the craziest of crazy, you believe them. When I bumped into him at KFC afterwards, he proved to be a real nice dude. Still, insane.

 

Oppikoppi Bar staffBar
Windhoek Bar

Quick service, cold beer, good seating, well placed (could sit there and experience the action on the Wesley’s Dome stage, or just pop around to Skellum) and overall a good festival bar experience.
Kudo’s to the guys from Aandklas who ran it so well…

 

 

 

 

 

Now, let’s get to the only thing that really matters. The Music.

Oppikoppi BandoleroCollaboration
Bandolero
Musicians play together, that’s what they do. These guys just took it to the next level. Andé Kriel (Black Cat Bones), Gareth Wilson & Tammy Wilson (Southern Gypsy Queen), Jaco Mans (Die See), Albert Frost, Chris TunderVolt (Black Cat Bones, Boargazm), David Beretta Owens (Lithium), Chris Kreef (yes, the Kreef hotel guy), Jonathan Peyper, Greg & Dave Georgiades… Can you say ohmyfuckthatisinsaneWOW!?
Quite a few collabs happened at Koppi. Special mention has to go to Dan Patlansky and Albert Frost, as well as the early morning surprise by Valiant Swart, Albert Frost, Schalk Joubert, Vernon Swart & Simon Orange and the Wolfmother dude (see William Welfare’s video here).

 

Stoker while cleanerNew Discovery
Stoker

Before Oppikoppi, Gareth Wilson told me to keep an eye out for these guys.. and boy, was he right!? They absolutely blew my mind. Energetic, fresh, professional and musically exceptional. These guys will go far.
Special mention has to go to The Sextons. I really liked their tunes (and they laughed when I made the obligatory “ton of sex” joke, so they’re nice too).

 

Oppikoppi Jonathan PeyperFresh Talent
Jonathan Peyper
Not to be confused with the new discovery award, which goes to a band/artist I saw for the first time, this award goes to the fresh talent that impressed me most. Jonathan is an extremely diverse, young, super talented and driven artist. His amazing vocals are second only to his insane guitar skills. This guy plays the electric the way it’s supposed to be done: With feel.
If you need a reason to like me more, take my suggestion to heart and go see one of his shows.

 

Conrad Jamneck of  The Fake Leather Blues BandParty Band
Fake Leather Blues
By no means does this award mean that they are just a cover band doing feel-good songs. Fake Leather is a seriously brilliant ensemble of seriously talented musicians making seriously awesome music… they just happen to be seriously hilarious too, and this makes for a seriously enjoyable experience. From front-man Conrad Jamneck’s costumes, quips and shenanigans through to the electric chemistry between the entire band, this is the full band package. If it’s a party you’re after, look no further.

 

Squeal long agoGlorious Return
Squeal
To celebrate the 20th birthday of Oppikoppi, they blessed us by bringing  back (from the dead, one is tempted to say) a few of the bands who made a massive splash all those years ago. Springbok Nude Girls and Urban Creep also did a good job of kicking you hard in the nostalgias, but Squeal managed to knock you unconscious, and wake you up somewhere in the early 90’s.

 

Sarah BlaskoFrom the overseas
Sarah Blasko
*gasp* Shock and horror… surprise! I did not pick Wolfmother (who I thoroughly enjoyed).
After a LOT of thinking, a few drinks, and some more thinking, I decided that Sarah earns this award. Wolfmother rocked my world, Rival Sons has one the best front-men in the world (too bad the rest of the band bored me), Willy Mason was right up there but my personal experience made that I couldn’t hear/see/enjoy his show as much as I would have liked to.
Sarah was just the perfect artist for the perfect moment, and she is bloody brilliant. She is so good musically, that I don’t even have to mention her exquisite beauty. And she digs good poetry.
Now if I could only teach her how to make braai-broodjies…

 

Van Coke Kartel at Oppikoppi.  Photo by Sean BrandThe obvious South African Band
Van Coke Kartel
This category is for the well-known big guns. Other strong contenders for this award included the likes of Bittereinder, Taxi Violence etc. You know, the guys who always in all the awards. It just so happens that Francois-and-co outperformed them all. They threw in some brand spanking new tunes, and rocked the well-known hits. 

 

The ultimate award
Man as Machine
This category ignores the obvious bands (see above) to focus on the horde of other awesome bands/artists that are sometimes overlooked, yet are all brilliant and just need that push to make it big. Bands like Boargazm, Nomadic Orchestra, Jonathan Peyper, Fake Leather Blues and more were considered.
Man as Machine absolutely deserve this. Not only did they kick several sorts of ass during their show, but their constant and seemingly unstoppable growth of the last few years proves that they are to be taken seriously. In my mind, they are one hit-song away from being the next BIG band in South Africa.
Take a look at Man as Machine’s latest music video:

 

There you go. Do you agree with me, or would you dish out the awards to other players?
Also, did I miss any award categories?
Let me know, and while you’re at it, be a sweetie and let these bands know that I owe them all high 5’s.

Oppikoppi Sparta Oppikoppi No Dust Oppikoppi Faces Oppikoppi Friends make Everything Accessable

Thank you Hilltop, Oppikoppi, vendors, bands, friends, randoms, gorgeous ladies, cleaning staff and everyone involved in making my festival experience awesome. I trust you all enjoyed it too. Except the cleaners, I can’t imagine how you could possibly enjoy it… but we love you.

 

(Photo Credit: I took all these pictures. As in, I took them directly from Oppikoppi’s Facebook page. I also raided the bands’ own Facebook pages. Go check it out, there’s a lot more. If you see any pics that you think I should not be allowed to put on here, suck it up. It’s on the internet… hehe!)

Oppikoppi Can be awesome

 

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