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All people are idiots…

1 Sep youare
“All people are idiots, until they prove themselves not to be”Baas de Beer
durakYou will hear me repeat this phrase, quite often.
If you need any proof, simply take a look at any medium-and-up size event on Facebook.
I just did.
Details are on the event itself, as well as in the description, and on the graphics (event header & poster)
About 75% of the comments are questions relating to date, time, venue… seriously, you lazy bastards, read.
I take that back, it’s not that you’re lazy. You physically had to open the event, and scroll past the details to ask about the details. You are just plain stupid.
Stupid-Progressive-IdiotsI can still understand that if the event was set up by an idiot, one of these details might be missing. However, this specific event was set up perfectly. Everything was where it should be.
There are millions of other reasons why it is obvious that humanity’s demise will be stupidity, just open your eyes and look around you. What do you see? Tell me…
So what’s the moral of this story?
Prove yourself to not be an idiot. Don’t do it for me, or for anyone else. But do it for yourself.
THINK before you speak. The all too uncommon common sense is your friend.

10 of my favourite Terry Pratchett quotes

12 Mar Terry Pratchett 2

Terry PratchettI write this post through misty eyes.

One of my heroes has passed away, but through his books, Terry Pratchett will live on. In my sense of humour, in my literary frame of reference and in the way that I view the world, he will always be there.

Thank you Mr Pratchett, for giving me a reason to read.

To celebrate his life, I figured I would share some of my favourite Pratchett quotes. There are many, many more. For now however, in no particular order, here’s 10 of them:

  • “It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it’s called Life.”  [The Last Continent]
  • “Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”
  • “Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.” [Reaper Man]
  • “I’ll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there’s evidence of any thinking going on inside it.”
  • “Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.” [Hogfather]
  • “Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It’s the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.” [Eric]
  • “The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they’ve found it.” [Monstrous Regiment]
  • “Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. Of course, I could be wrong.”
  • “There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.”
  • “Just because you can explain it doesn’t mean it’s not still a miracle.” [Small Gods]

This is the part where I have to say something like “What is your favourite Pratchett quote?” or such to get you to comment. Honestly though, at this moment I am too damn sad to even care whether or not you even read this.
Rather read one of Terry Pratchett’s books, it’s better than my drivel.

My letter to Telkom

2 Dec IMG_3017.PNG


Dear Telkom
This is just a quick note to say how much I abhor you.
I realise that, due to your seemingly infinite stupidity you might not understand the word abhor. Well, let me help you out with that…
Abhor: to regard with extreme repugnance or aversion; detest utterly; loathe; abominate.

Basically what it boils down to, is that I think you are almost like cancer, except for (I am glad to say) there IS hope for cancer sufferers.

“Why” would be a question you would very well have asked by now, had you not been a blithering idiot. I would then proceed to tell you exactly why.
I went in to a Telkom shop to relocate my line. See, I figured that actually going to you might make things a bit smoother. Eliminate one link in the chain of possible fuck ups.
What do you do? Make me call the Telkom help-line (help line, hahaha) from in-store.
Why the fuck do you even have staff in store, or for that matter, stores at all??


Much to my surprise, I will gallantly admit, the call made was not complete torture. Without out too much brain damage I managed to convey to your seemingly semi-coherent phone-talker that I would like to relocate.
Procedures were followed, details were detailed and arrangements were made. Even some queries with regards to costing options and such relevant to the service I require (which, btw, is internet) happened.
After the call, I was happy. One less thing on my already swamped mind (if you have ever moved, you’ll know what I am talking about). On Tuesday (which is now today) Telkom will send me a tech dude to connect my line and make me internetactive again.
I even got an sms with a larney reference number and everything.

Now Telkom, the slightly sharper pencils in the packet would have gotten where I am going to with this rant by now. Don’t worry, I’ll spell it our for you (just as soon as you wipe the drool off your chin.. There you go):

Not only did today go by without any sign of your promised visitor, but when I called to enquire as to his whereabouts, I was told so many different stories that it could be published by Tolkien (don’t worry, I know you won’t get that reference).
First, there was no record of my relocation request. Then suddenly there was a record of my call, but nobody knew why.
Then, all of a sudden your one system said that yes, my line is to be relocated. But, and your helpline oxygen waster was very adamant about this, relocation is impossible BECAUSE THERE IS NO ADSL COVERAGE IN MY NEW AREA??! And all I have to do is understand that the other system did not agree with it and it must have been broken and… Blah blah blah.

Look, you need to understand one thing (and I realise it is difficult, but do try): I do not give a singly flying fuck about your internal workings (using the term working very loosely).
For all that I care you could have 17 tiny fairies running on treadmills while being milked for magical internet juice. I don’t give a fuck.
How you work is your problem. When your highly incompetent helpline operator started to try and explain why I am not getting the service I am paying you pathetic bunch of morons for, I just gave up.

And see, thus is the nature of your company. You make people give up. You, dear Telkom, are dream destroyers. You are nasty bullies on the play-ground of life.
You are the embodiment of everything that is wrong with this wonderful country of ours, and I passionately despise you with every part of my being.

I could go ahead and explain to you how and why and how much of an inconvenience this is. I could even ask you to refund me the money I now have to pay in order for me to get replacement internet. But you won’t give a shit. You never do.
I simply wrote this to vent my frustration.

May your empire burn to the ground amidst no tears whatsoever from me, or the countless others you have screwed over.

Sincerely, FUCK YOU


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