Tag Archives: philosophy

For the love of Boobs

15 Apr

What is it about boobs that fascinate mankind so much?
And by mankind, I mostly mean men.

Sure, ladies have their own thing for breasts, but (mostly) not in the way most humans sporting male genitalia does. It’s as if there’s a magical magnetic attraction to girls’ lady-humps. Yes, I said lady-humps, my English teacher would be so proud.

Just to clear the air, I am not speaking of males’ stereotypical attraction to BIG boobs. Just boobs in general. I am, in fact, pretty sure that no matter what your (you, being a girl in this case) boobs look like, there are definitely guys out there that prefer them above any other shape, size, slope or feel. So I am just touching on the concept of general Boob-Fascination.

I have a theory. It might not be good one, but it’s the best one I have.

Boys (read: men of all ages) want what they can’t have. They want what is difficult to get. They want what other boys have (or at least what other boys also want).
So, on the one side you have the natural hunter-instinct of the male kicking in. The thrill of the hunt already makes it a worthwhile endeavour. Combine that with the media bombarding us with what we are supposed to find attractive, and all sorts of manly-man urges kick in.

These urges to desire, crave, hunt and obtain are enough to drive any sane man nuts. (There’s a joke somewhere in that last sentence. Help me find it). The fact that the ladies use aforementioned boobs to their advantage doesn’t help either. The tease-game just makes the hunter more bent on winning.

Ah, winning.
For a schoolboy, winning might be glancing Deidre van den Heever’s bra strap in standerd 1, or accidently brushing against your hand over your 1st high-school date’s chest at the Valentine’s ball. As we grow older, winning is redefined. Still a little part (genuine, NO pun intended) of a man has that thrill of seeing what he’s not supposed to, touching what he shouldn’t and talking about what he did (but probably didn’t)…
I might be wrong though, or at least giving away my age. Nowadays 12year olds get more action than I did through my entire school career. But you get the point.

Either way you see it, and ladies – whether or not your man acknowledges it- all men love boobs to one extent or another. It’s a fact of nature, a part of our programming deeply encoded in the root of having the ability to pee whilst standing.

So from the bottom of our hearts (and probably a bit lower as well) ladies, we as men thank you for taking care of your breasts, for loving them, bragging with them. Some for modestly seeking compliments by pretending that you don’t like compliments, others for blatantly flaunting what us mere mortals will never lay a hand on.

Seeing as today is National Cleavage Day (a wonderful incentive started by Wonderbra) let us not forget, amidst the ogling, gawking, peeking and perving, what this day is all about. Ladies (and dudes) breastcancer is serious, check yourself. And let the love for boobs live forever!

Various events all over the country celebrate this specail day. My party of preference is at Aandklas in Pretoria with BraaiBoy tonight. It includes four of my favourite things on the planet: Boobs, Beer, Braaivleis and rock music. Hope to see many of you there 🙂

LINKS:

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Sh!t Happens

10 Jan

I have not posted a new blogpost in the last few days, seeing as I was severely constipated and in severe pain.

Now, you might wonder why I am telling you this… I, to a certain extent am wondering the same thing. Would it not have been easier for me to simply shut up about being, well, shut up? It would certainly be more socially acceptable and polite not to talk about such things in public. Is it perhaps the faceless facet of the internet that robbed me of interpersonal skills and moral fibre, thus giving me the motivation to be entirely inappropriate without fear of face-to-face judgement?

Now, this is the point in the story where one of you would have to be so kind as to please raise your hand and make an insightful comment about how social acceptability is entirely dependent on culture, upbringing and the perception about taboos as portrayed by the media. Upon saying this, a few of your classmates will have to point out that it might as well be the other way round, with social acceptability dictating all the rest. I will, however, mostly agree with you.

The debate of what is socially appropriate and culturally acceptable, is a long and drawn out one. It is filled with inconsistencies, loopholes, exceptions and extremes. It touches on all subjects ranging from religion, swearing and sex through to drugs, public urination, cloning and corporal punishment.  I will therefore not endeavor to even touch further on the subject. Partially, because I cannot possibly say in this short blog what other, more educated thinkers, have already said. Also, because I really need to go to the toilet now.

My conclusion amidst this confusion, short and not so sweet, is this:

Some keep it in, others let it out, most are sensitive about it, but in the end… EVERYONE is full of shit. Deal with it.

 

Class dismissed.

 

 

 

 

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