Tag Archives: fail

Afrikaanse Demotivators

21 Jan

Gedink die goed kom net in Engels?

Wel, nie meer nie… Ter viering van my weeklikse Afrikaanse blogpost, het ek ‘n paar lame postertjies gemaak. As jy dink jy kan beter, doen dit, en stuur dit na my toe 🙂

Verder vier ek ook www.zoem.co.za

Four Your Funny 2

12 Jan

Hi kids!

It’s that time of the month again. No no, not THAT that time of the month. This time of the month: Four Your Funny Time 🙂

  • Four Videos
  • Four Pictures
  • Four Jokes
  • Four dots after this sentence….

Remember, if you have any funy stuff, send it to me. If it makes me laugh, it will probably be featured in the next FYF. So, without further chit chat, here we go:

 

 

 

———–

What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.

———–

Here’s a little tip that I thought would be interesting to share with you all to build up your upper body strength. It’s really easy and takes no time at all but works a treat.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 2kg potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day, you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 5kg potato bags.

Then try 10kg potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 20kg potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (we are very proud, we are at this level)

After you feel confident at this level, put a potato in each of the bags.

———–

Q:   How many electric guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:   One, they just hold the bulb and the whole world revolves around them!

Q:   How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:   That’s easy – A Fish.

Q.   How does an American change a light bulb?
A.   He doesn’t.  He throws the lamp away and buys a new one.

Q:   How many nuclear war survivors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:   None, because people who glow in the dark don’t need light bulbs.

Q:   How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:   Only one, but it sure takes a truckload of light bulbs!

Q:   How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:   Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.

————-

An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The Mexican replied “only a little while”.
The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish?
The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.
The American then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time?

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life, senor.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you.  You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat.  With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats.  Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery.  You would control the product, processing and distribution.  You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NY where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But senor, how long will this all take?”
To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”
“But what then, senor?”

The American laughed and said that’s the best part.  When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich.  You would make millions.
“Millions, senor?  Then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire.  Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos …..”

———–

Four Your Funny

6 Jan

Four videos.

Four pics.

Four your funny.

These are pics/vids that made me laugh in this week. Feel free to send me links to what made YOU laugh. If it makes ME laugh… Well look out for the next Four Your Funny 🙂

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I find this one funny, not because of the (awesome!) content, but because the people actually think it’s in South Africa…