Top Oppikoppi Tips nobody bothers to give you, even though they should

Take wet wipes. Hydrate. Sunscreen. Pace yourself. Pack warm…
An Oppikoppi Tips List nowadays kinda writes itself. Sadly, it’s becoming a tad redundant. Anyone with Google can find the last few years’ posts, and let’s face it, the list kinda stays the same.

There are however, some pointers nobody seems to talk about. Until now…

So here we go, my contribution to the growing number of festival tip lists:

1. Clean your phone before you leave home.
You’re gonna want take drunk selfies and blurry pics of the bands, in spite of the fact that all those other lists tell you to lock your phone in the car and forget about it. So make sure you have enough space for all the shaky videos and incriminating visual evidence of your friends’ debauchery.

2. Make your mark
Take a permanent marker. Mark your stuff. Like a tent, bag, chair, and whatever might be lost that you would prefer to be found again. This even works for friends, but not livers or dignity.

 

 
3. Shave your head, wish you were dead.
For some reason, the Art of Bald is seen as a powerful force (which it might very well be). Group identity, individual freedom of expression or silent solidarity with a chemo-friend… all good ideas. Except when heading to a place where you will spend 40% of your awake time, in scorching sunlight.
You will also lose your hat, even though your permanent marker is on it.
So unless you habitually wax your leathery cranium, don’t impulsively do it pre-Koppi.

4. Make Common Sense Great Again
Do you really, really need to be told to pack a tent, toothbrush and water? If you do, please don’t go to Koppi. You will die even before you get there, possibly by sticking your fingers into the Northam KFC’s wall socket simply coz there was no sign telling you not to.
So when you get to Koppi, please use whatever’s left of your enjoyably euthanised cerebellum, and think before you do things. That way, you won’t end up with an ex, tottie-vrot, or an axe in your leg. And yes, all those are things that have happened to stupid people.

5. Read the lists, ignore the shit
You thought I was dissing all the lists and such? Not at all. They are good guides and will help you enjoy your Oppikoppi experience. It’s just that, well… let’s be honest, nobody packs ALL that crap to go to Koppi. I know maybe 3 people who will get close to doing so, and they are the ones who will feed you rusks in the morning coz you didn’t pack it.
So decide what type of Koppi you want to have.
Camping in the bush, and ‘oh there are bands too’? Go all out camping, you know, like you probably do at least once a month anyway.
Barely spending time at your tent coz you’re EVERYWHERE else having a jol? Fuck it. You can drastically scale your convoy’s cargo carrying requirements down if you take a thicker wallet.

There you go, yet another list.
What do you think should be on this list? And be warned, I will mock you relentlessly if you say something that is on a million other lists.

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For a decent list of things to take, here’s 33 things you need for Oppikoppi: A stage manager’s perspective as seen on Running Wolf’s Rant.

If you’re bored, here are my previous Oppikoppi Posts

If you see me in the dust, let’s have a tequila! #RockWithCuervo

Share to care, coz it rhymes.

Dear Cape Town, do yourself a favour…

Hi Cape Town

Firstly, let me apologise for not visiting more. I do still love you, it’s just that I am busy and well, you know… Trust me, it’s not you, it’s me. I promise to visit as soon as I can.

In the meantime, I have some good news for you!

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A few weeks ago, I attended Blood Brothers up here in the Corrupted States of Gauteng. Man, what an awesome experience. Seriously, if I tell you that it was one of the most amazing, most magical musical experiences I have ever had, I would not be exaggerating. Everything was awesome. From the tequila we had on the bus going to the show, straight through to the reminiscence on the way home. The exquisite selection of world class musicians was complimented by a professionally managed event that looked great. The stage was not just a functional platform, built for the upliftment of the featured entertainment. It was PART of the show. It moved, it grooved and it looked damn sexy.

The songs. Oh, the songs my dear Cape Town… You have no idea how awesome the songs were. Reading the set-list will only serve to let you know what songs were played. Nothing, however, can prepare a mere mortal for the audio-visual brilliance that is Blood Brothers.

After the show I had 3 wishes:

1. My bed. I was broken. Was it the headbanging? The copious amounts of Jose Cuervo’s golden goodness? The sheer emotional exhaustion after beign taken on a musical journey so profound, that even now I can’t explain it? Well, yes. Also, I was tired.
2. I wished to see the show again. Sadly, this does not seem to be possible, for me at least. So, moving along swiftly…
3. I really wished that more people could see the show. And guess what… my wish came true! YOU can see it, right there in the town with the flat mountain on the 23rd of September 2015. You lucky bastards…

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Check it out:

• If you’re wondering what this whole uproar is about my dear Cape Town, simply see the previous post I made about Blood Brothers.
• You can buy your Blood Brothers tickets at by clicking here, on Webtickets
• Follow @BloodBrothersSA on twitter, or visit Blood Brothers on Facebook
• Seeing as I can’t make it, you’ll have to start a #Cuervolucion with Jose Cuervo on my behalf…

So my dear Cape Town, do yourself a favour, and make sure you send all your citizens to watch this life changing show…

Aweh

Why I like Passenger

Let’s get this out of the way to start off with: I never really listened to Passenger more than what I happened to hear on radio. So that’s basically 2 songs.

When I heard that the man was scheduled to come to South Africa, I did a bit of homework by watching some of his videos. this taught me 2 things:
1. He likes going places. Seriously, have you seen in how many music videos he is walking somewhere?
2. I kinda like his tunes.

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Now, to fast forward from there to the show, I have to include my friend Jose Cuervo. He invited me to have some tequilas and go check out the Passenger gig at Zoo Lake in Joburg. I said yes, because Tequila. (You won’t easily hear me saying no to anything that involves some Cuervo). I arrived at Zoo Lake with my lovely friend Jaxy. She was just too amped for the show, seeing as she is a die hard Passenger fan. I had to calm her down a bit, so we headed straight for the Cuervo container. Yes, container. It’s a bar, built into a shipping container, with a deck on top and awesome people all around. A few shots later, opening acts playing and new friends made,  we found some shade and chilled a bit. It was hot, and the icy Cuervo margaritas were flowing rapidly.

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Then Passenger took to the stage.

His first little joke was aimed right at me. Something about people expecting a band and then one dude rocks up on stage with just a guitar and tight jeans. I ignored the tight jeans part, but proceeded to pre-judge an international act for touring with just a guitar and a stomp box. How dare he. Why should people have to pay to see one man when he could very easily have had a band? How is he ever going to fill up the massive stage and… and… “wait a minute. This guy is kinda good”.
Yup, from the moment he strummed the first cords and started singing poetry, I felt the urge to apologise to him for my previous train of thought.

https://instagram.com/p/zFbTp2FB4Y/?modal=true

Passenger was absolutely brilliant. The man is an entertaining, profound lyricist with an awesome sense of humour. He knows just how to engage a crowd 100% of the time. Some story telling between songs, but not too much. A joke here and there, but not wannabe stand-up, and the perfect songs for the vibe of the day.

I love the man’s social commentary on things like racism, the entertainment industry and even relationships.
I always say that if you walk out of a show a bigger fan than you walked in, it was a good show. By this logic, the Passenger show was one helluva epic gig! My only wish would be that radio stations would start playing more than just two of his songs.

Thanks for a delightful day Jose! You guys are legends. And Jaxy, thank you for showing me how much a true music lover can still enjoy a live gig. You echoed Passenger’s sentiment perfectly by immersing yourself into the event, and not into a little screen.

**BONUS**

Here’s a video that Passenger made while in South Africa